#Timesup ….. resolution or intention, the choice is yours

Let’s talk about those famous resolutions. How many of us, make resolutions every year, only to abandon them half way through the year?Ever wonder why, without saying it’s because I can’t?

The secret for any resolutions to be successful or a drastic change to happen, requires us to take tiny steps of continuous de-cluttering of old habits, BEFORE implementing new patterns. Old habits such as ‘I don’t believe I can do it’ or ‘it’s not possible for me’, a misconception or a little white lie we tell our selves when our life doesn’t turn out the way we imagined it.

Can we really change our. Way of being in our lives? Yes!

It begins with the way we think about ourselves, talk to ourselves and have a respectful manner to clear out all the pain we experienced from past events. You know, that hurtful argument, the break-up or the cheating, those moments you felt broken and not good enough.

As I listened to Oprah’s speech, during the Golden Globes, nothing was more evident that the truth prevails, she amongst many endured painful experience. Yet, she stayed with being in her truth through a daily commitment and determination, she let go of the past of anger, and transformed the problem into a beneficial way to lead others for a brighter tomorrow. Are we really different from Oprah, if we put the fame aside and focused on past experiences? The only difference is she continued to do something about it.

The timing and moment of the message at the Golden Globes was perfect. January, is always the month we all set our resolutions for the year. Work on our selves to be…. (Fill in the blanks of resolution).

But we all know, resolutions tend to be short lived, why? Because to create a new way of behaviour, requires us to relax from doing the old pattern over and over. Think about kids who suck their thumb, do you know how difficult it can be to get them to stop? Well, old habits are the same.

Everyday is a day to practice relaxing from the old habits, and give it less attention and focus on the resolution. At the same time, resolutions are effective, when we embrace one thing, that the struggles come with it. None of these actors had a smooth beginning, in fact, most of these women endured some sort of aggressive sexual violence, but their commitment prevailed. The only difference between you and the actor, is not the fame but the intention. The intention to stay committed on giving less importance on what hinders your and stay focused in the resolution.

This weeks reminder from the #Befriendurmind Book, focuses on: #41. Everyday is a day of Practice.

The commitment and patience to see the resolution through comes with intention, everyday.

The movement we saw take place at the Golden Globes, was not because they are famous people. Success happens through daily small steps in the resolution and not towards it. The movement started with the constant investment in the intention and they used their fame as a way to be the voice and ‘spread the word’. A resolution without the ‘right intention’ is doomed for failure, nothing is more evident than President using social media to focus on fear or scarcity of wealth instead of the greater good. So how do we recognise the ‘right intention’?

Intention happens before a thought, a thought with intention inspires our action and our action, ultimately, reflects our intention. There are two kinds of driving forces behind Intention:

* Fear what will happen to us and treat ourselves broken. Trump used fear this way.

* Empowerment by feeling that we are the possibility for positive benefits to happen within ourselves as well as in others. #WhyWeWearBlack turned the fear into possibility, everyday.

Intention operates on the choice of feeling that is coming from either fear or a possibility. Intention reacts on what we believe is true, the fear or the possibility?

Can we recognise our kind of intention? ….Yes!

Awareness arrives when we train ourselves to watch the mind and the way we react. It gives any human being, the empowerment to watch the consequence of their action on themselves and others. Through recognition, we can be willing to let go of these mind habits, notice them for what they are and use them to go past the feeling of giving up on the resolution. Ultimately, stay committed with our intention to be a possibility.

When you craft your resolution, spend time observing the intention behind it and create a tiny step everyday towards it. Be like the women and men in the Golden Globes, they continued to empower their belief in making their resolution for equality a reality, practicing everyday raising awareness and moving through the pitfalls. The #timesup, #metoo, #WhyWeWearBlack movement would not have arrived otherwise.

As I watched the Oscars, I appreciate the self for being a possibility towards empowering women and men, and also give thanks to the men who stood by the women, not only in support but as being a bold statement that we are all equal beings, no higher or lower.

#41. Everyday is a day of practice.

#BeFriendurmind, is a food for thought book, 59 reminders to experience a practical soluton for all walks of relationships. Would you like to get your hands on those reminders, it’s available on Amazon Kindle as well as iBooks app.

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